The Kibbutz

In September, Mom moved next door to live full time.  Last winter was tough for her--she stayed with us for six weeks after coming down with pneumonia, recovered, and then slipped on the ice at her rural home in Yampa, injuring both her legs.  Scary.  As a family, we decided it benefited everyone to have her closer to us, and what with the rental house next door, we had a fantastic option.  

She put a bunch of time and money into her new digs--it looks and feels fantastic.  The boys have a bedroom, and it seems they like being over there more than at home.  Who wouldn't with such a cozy Nana zone!

I love seeing my mom everyday, hugging her and knowing how she is doing.  I can help her move furniture, hold up a picture, bring her some half and half, whatever!  Scott takes care of all the snow on her drive way and  roof, and we share meals at least four times a week.

Fergus' first day on skis in Nana's driveway

Mom gets to see the boys everyday and participate in their raising.  She backs us up on discipline goals and provides a fun outlet right next door.  Rather than Nana being a one week a year event, she is a daily event.  She is invaluable help with child care, taking them when I need to go to the dentist, get a hair cut, or when I am ready to lock them in their room for the rest of the day.

Financially, we are pooling some of the burden of home ownership, with shared trash service, Internet, and food costs.

Of course, we are learning some lessons.  

Living in the Kibbutz means sawing your mom's box spring in half so it will fit up the stairs.  I'm not kidding.

Flexibility is essential. I realized I don't get to choose what my mom asks me for help with.  When she moved in, I had an idea that I'd help her with snow removal, cooking and moving heavy things.  Well, as it turns out, she needs help in other ways.  I've weatherized her windows,  sawed her box spring in half so it would fit upstairs, and done a dump run.  Honestly, she's asked far less of us than I expected.  My lesson is that family is not a rigid thing.  We need and help each other in fits and starts and waves, and all we can ask for is grace--in both the asking and the giving.

Scott is the sole man of the compound, so a lot falls on him.  He has the tools and the skills to do so much, and we ask a lot.  We are lucky to have him!

After four months, I believe we are in a good flow here.  The boys ask before they go charging over to her house at 7am, and she hasn't kept us up with too many wild parties.  No, seriously- she is very respectful of our space.  We are extremely blessed to have her as part of every day, and I know she feels the same.

Kibbutz breakfast.  Uncle Mike in attendance.